Living the dream...wait, I have a dream?

I fly away on Friday. It’s still too early to start in on the crazy packing process and a little late to be lamenting my losses in Durango. I’m in limbo. Really I’ve been in limbo for a while, dancing back and forth between the TV, whatever book I’m reading, and my phone. Of course the past few days I have had to be a little more responsible I guess. Fill prescriptions, go to the dentist, get my hair cut, and think really, really hard about packing all of my stuff into a duffle bag. Still not ready for that though.

I have also been thinking a lot (aside from my empty bags) about what I’m about to be doing. I have never been one inclined toward passion. I have had so many friends and acquaintances along the way who have loved what they were doing or what they were striving toward, and they would attack their goals with the fervor and intensity of a hound on the chase and never let up or be distracted until success was achieved. I have always been a bit more passive. Ok, that’s an understatement. I would follow the path of least resistance to my grave if that’s where it wanted me to go. I hold fast that I am a cloud, and there is little I care to steer myself toward that doesn’t follow my same wind stream.

I have wanted to be everything from an archeologist to an interior decorator but never once have I taken my dreams seriously. I became a “writer” instead. At least I could make up stories about people who did the things I was too lazy for, or wasn’t drawn to beyond day-dreams. Until now.

I get to travel. I have always wanted to travel. All of the stories I made up as a child involved adventure. All of the jobs I wanted either required that I travel or at least gave me enough money and vacation time to travel on my own. It never occurred to me that travel could be the goal. I always thought it would just be a perk on the side of whatever I chose to do, not the thing I actually chose.

Now I can justify doing whatever as long as it takes me somewhere. I will teach English so I can live in Central America or Europe or Asia. I will learn Spanish (and hell, maybe more if I have the opportunity) so that I can become a marketable resource in more countries than just this one. I learned to write because I liked it and was relatively decent at it. Now though, I have a purpose for education beyond the degree. I have a goal. Dare I say I have a passion?

I have only ever traveled in small doses. I may be horribly allergic to travel and just not know it yet. I have to try it out though, because it’s about damn time I found something to get fired up about.